The Easter Bunny?

March, 2008

June, 2003

Harry and Cho Chang explore Shanghai

SHANGHAI - The release of the fifth Harry Potter novel has caused quite a stir recently, but Max Waugh is offering an exclusive look into the sixth Potter story. Waugh, a Seattle-based photographer, literally stumbled into a scene from the unreleased novel, tentatively titled Harry Potter and the Muggle Catastrophe. While sightseeing in Shanghai in January, Max accidentally wandered onto a set where Warner Brothers was doing early filming for the big screen version of the tale. He was able to quickly snap a photograph (right) of the scene, featuring Harry and on-and-off-again flame Cho Chang on a Hogwarts field trip to China. According to sources on the set, this act of the story centers around Harry helping the groundskeeper Hagrid locate a Chinese Fireball dragon (the same species defeated by Viktor Krum in book four's Tri-Wizard Tournament) on its home turf. No release date has been specified for the filmed version of Catastrophe.

May, 2003

SEATTLE - The emergence of warmer spring weather has prompted Max Waugh to plan a two month trip... to Seattle, Washington. After spending the first part of 2003 on whirlwind trips to China, Europe and Russia, the 27 year old felt a vacation was in order. While the photographer maintains that he needs "some time off," he insists that it won't all be R&R. "I expect to get some work done during my stay. After all, someone's gotta pay the rent around here." Max describes the Emerald City as a "beautiful, exotic location," and he intends to partake in such activities as visiting Starbucks, attending a Mariners game and "sleeping in my own bed."

Max Reveals Past Olympic Ambitions

March, 2003

Outnumbered, but not overpowered

SEATTLE - In a revealing interview, Max Waugh admitted that he once endured the pressures and expectations of other, better-known athletic child prodigies, such as Tiger Woods and Jennifer Capriati. While it's no secret that Max's parents at one time thought he had the potential to be an Olympic swimmer, the Seattle resident divulged that he was actually a two sport star in his youth. In fact, he gave up on swimming to focus on his first love: Tug of War.

Max excelled in the under-appreciated sport, anchoring the US Under 13 squad by the age of five. The rare photo at right shows him taking on four boys his age during one of what he describes as "rigorous weekly" training sessions. All good things must come to an end though. Max admits that his dreams of Olympic Gold were shattered when he learned that Tug of War was discontinued as an Olympic event in 1920. He immediately quit the sport in digust, and has touched nary a rope since, a decision he says he still regrets to this day.

February, 2003

SHANGHAI - In a rare occurrence, Max Waugh vomited last week. The episode took place in the restroom of a silk factory at the tail end of Max's excursion in China. It is believed to be the first time the Seattle native has thrown up in "at least 10 or 15 years," and he refused to downplay the significance of the incident. "I can't remember the last time I was seriously ill. This helps me understand what my drunk friends have been going through all these years," said Waugh, a professed "non-drinker." The exact cause of the illness remains a mystery, though Max noted that "it tasted like the soup I had for lunch."

January, 2003

December, 2002

COLFAX - A relieved Max Waugh left the Whitman County courthouse this morning as a free man. After a brief hearing, superior court judge David Frazier announced that all criminal charges against Waugh stemming from a November 23 incident at the Apple Cup football game had been dropped. Ten minutes after the judgement, Waugh thanked his attorney outside the courthouse and hopped into his car, muttering only that he was "looking forward to returning to civilization," before driving west on Highway 26.

Gesser goes down in the Apple Cup

The incident in question involved a leg injury sustained by Washington State University quarterback Jason Gesser late in the Apple Cup. With 9:44 left in the fourth quarter, Gesser was trying to escape defensive pressure, when he was tackled by Husky defender Terry Johnson. The Cougar quarterback suffered a severe ankle sprain on the play, and was forced to miss the rest of the game, which WSU ended up losing in triple overtime. The loss kept the Cougars from clinching a trip to the Rose Bowl on January 1.

Witnesses stated that immediately prior to and during the play, Waugh was overheard yelling, "Hurt him! Hurt him!" from the stands. Prosecutors contended that the taunts were directed toward Gesser, and were the ultimate cause of his injury. Last week Waugh, a Seattle-based graphic designer and avid Husky fan, admitted in an interview that he might have been hoping his team would be able to make a play that would turn the tide of the game. "But to think that (the Huskies) would actually follow my orders and take (Gesser) out, is ridiculous," he said.

The issue of motive was another factor that led Judge Frazier to render his decision. The last time Washington State went to the Rose Bowl, Waugh was able to acquire tickets to the game and sell them for a substantial profit. Frazier acknowledged that while Waugh's UW ties could be considered viable motive in the Gesser attack, the financial rewards incurred from another WSU Rose Bowl trip might be enough reason to cause Waugh to root for the Cougars, rather than against them. Asked for a response to the judge's reasoning, Waugh chuckled, but refused to comment.

November, 2002

SEATTLE - The controversial results of a recently published study are sparking new debates among the American anthropological community. A team of experts, led by Seattle-based graphic designer Max Waugh, has unearthed evidence that the lack of attractive women in the state of Michigan is the result of a mass migration that began in the late 1950's.

The findings, which call into question seemingly-unassailable theories on human evolution and historical human migratory patterns, have already begun to inspire heated discussions in online chat rooms and discussion forums. Centered around finding the cause of Michigan's distinct lack of good looking females, the three month study was inspired by Waugh's late-August trip to Ann Arbor for the Washington - Michigan college football game.

Waugh and his team outlined their findings in a detailed presentation to the Plains Anthropological Society at its annual conference, held in Oklahoma City. During an oration and slide show, the researchers focused on the key points that led them to their discovery. "It was fairly obvious that there weren't many cute girls in the area spanning from Detroit out west to Ann Arbor," said Waugh. "We thought that they might have all been finishing up their summer break out of town, until we happened to interview some other folks from the MidWest." The declaration by one Ohio State University graduate that "there are much better looking women in Columbus," spurred the research team to consider a migration phenomenon.

"We realized that greater populations of attractive ladies are currently congregating in points further West and Southeast of Michigan. We began to examine whether this could be the product of a steady migration over a certain amount time, not unlike the gradual introduction of humans into North America via the Bering land bridge thousands of years ago."

The study cites a number of other examples which point to a female exodus. By 1965, the women in question had left Michigan far behind, as evidenced by that year's Beach Boys' hit song, "California Girls." "The 'Midwest farmer's daughters' line hints that these women had already settled in the plains states of Kansas, Nebraska and Iowa," said Waugh. The study points out that the same song's mention of "Northern girls" is in fact a closet reference to Canadians, not Michiganders as previously thought.

In his presentation, Waugh expressed that he was still unsure of the significance of the findings, which might not be realized for years to come. He indicated that if the study were accepted by the scientific and anthropological communities, he would fully support an effort to reintroduce the species back into the state in hopes of repopulating the area.

Waugh and his team will present their findings to the American Anthropological Society during its 101st annual meeting, at the Hyatt Regency hotel in New Orleans on November 23.

September, 2002

SOMEWHERE IN CALIFORNIA - For the second time in less than a month, one of Max Waugh's friends refused to let him behind the wheel during the crucial stages of a lengthy road trip. The incident occurred during a week-long jaunt from Seattle to southern California, for the wedding of an old high school friend. According to several sources, Waugh offered to relieve his friend Andrew of driving duties a number of times during the journey's first leg between Seattle and the Bay Area. Andrew, the owner of the early 90s Honda Accord which served as transport on the trip, refused, and eventually drove 12 hours the first day, before handing the keys to another friend.

This exchange was repeated in Los Angeles, where Andrew again took the reins and proceeded to wreak havoc on the crowded LA freeways. After a number of wrong turns and near misses, Waugh says he gave up on trying to help. "I'm sorry, but the guy missed half the exit signs we were looking for... he's clearly rattled by LA. But, I guess we're still alive after the whole mess, and that's what counts." The Seattle-based graphic designer -- who has a perfect driving record since belatedly receiving his driver's license in 1997 -- finds it hard to explain why he is being shunned. Interviewed outside his Northgate home on Monday, Waugh indicated that he is content to ride shotgun until he achieves more respect among his peers. "I've done 2000 miles in two days on my own before. I know I can bring something to the table... but if they're gonna make me spend my time reading a book or watching Boogie Nights on my laptop, that's fine."

The California controversy follows a similar incident in July, when Max was only allowed behind the wheel for a couple hours during a group roadtrip to Yellowstone National Park. Sources close to Waugh indicate that he is not considering a "driving holdout" at this time.

August, 2002

SEATTLE - In a shocking revelation, Designer/Photographer Max Waugh announced that he has a degenerative condition that effects his vision. Waugh says he discovered the condition after viewing pictures he took on his recent trip to Ross Lake. The malady, which leads to crooked, off-center and low quality photographs, is known as lausidigitalcameritis in scientific circles. Waugh's doctor released a statement earlier Thursday declaring that the condition is curable, and can be fought with an expensive new remedy, known only as Canon D60.

July, 2002

SEATTLE - In a surprise move, Max Waugh fixed his car on his own. The Seattle resident successfully replaced the dead battery from his 1990 Subaru with a new one. Waugh, 26, admits to knowing little about automobiles, though he indicates he did change a flat tire last year, "with some help." He views the battery episode as a confidence-builder, and indeed is rumored to have replaced a burnt-out headlight within the last week.